खबरों की वापसी?

खबर आई, चली और चली गयी । खबर की नियति ही यही होती है। बडी खबर थी इसलिए उसके भग्नावशेष अभी भी चहल कदमी कर रहे हैं । लेकिन जब खबर अपनी जवानी के चरम पर थी तभी एक गंभीर हिन्दी न्यूज़ चैनल ने कहा कि अब खबरें चैनल्स पर लौट आई हैं। लेकिन यह उदघोष एक भावातिरेक के सिवाय और कुछ नहीं निकला।

खुशी होती अगर यह भविष्यवाणी सही हो जाती। लेकिन एसा कुछ हुआ नहीं। होना भी नहीं था। जब तक ज्यादातर चैनल यही मान कर चल रहे हैं कि सिर्फ सांप बिच्छु, भूत की खबर ही असली खबर है तो सिर्फ एक चैनल के यह कहने से तो खबर टीवी पर लौट नहीं आएगी, और लौटी भी नहीं। संसद के सत्रावसान और बहुत सारी चीजों के देहावसान के अगले ही दिन लगभग सारे चैनल भूत, डायन और सौजन्यित हसीं का पिटारा लेकर यथास्थिति में वापस आ गए।

अब सवाल यह है कि गंभीर चैनल ने यह किस आधार पर कह दिया कि अब टीवी पर खबरों की वापसी हो गयी है। दो दिन के खेल से हफ्ते भर पहले इसी चैनल के एक समाचार सम्पादक ने हिन्दी के अखबार में भी लिखा कि संसद के सत्र के मद्देनज़र खबरें टीवी पर लौट रहीं हैं। सब कुछ ठीक है लेकिन यह खबरों के लौटने की ख़बर समझ नहीं आ रही है। वह जो खबर थी, वह खबर से ज्यादा एक उत्सुकता थी। सभी लागों को मालूम था कि इस दो दिन के खेल में फटाफट क्रिकेट और चालू सिनेमा वाले सारे मसाले मौजूद होंगें। यह खबर भी दर्शक के लिए एक मनोरंजन से भरपूर खबर थी। दो दिन का खेल शुरू होने से पहले ही चैनल्स ने जिस तरह से इस खबर को उठाना शुरू किया था तभी से इस खबर की नियति तय हो गयी थी, कि यह श्याम बेनेगल की नहीं बल्कि डेविड धवन की फिल्म देखने जा रहे है हम लोग।

जब एक प्रिन्स गढ्ढे में गिरता है और दो दिन तक सारे चैनल्स वही दिखाते हैं तो क्या वह खबर की वापसी नहीं बनती। सवाल खबरों की वापसी का नहीं ट्रीटमेंट का है कि हम खबर को कैसे ट्रीट करते है। हाँ वो दो दिन सचमुच बडे ही खबरीले थे. एक गंभीर खबर थी, लेकिन क्या उसको गंभीर रहने दिया गया? नहीं, हमने उसको भी खली वाला खेल बना डाला।

मेरी इस बकवास के हिसाब से फिर भी यह गंभीर चैनल की गम्भीरता ही थी कि उसके अलावा लगभग सारे ही चैनल्स पर उस खबर की ही खबर नहीं थी बाकी सब कुछ था। लेकिन अगर राजनीतिक ख़बर ही सिर्फ़ असली ख़बर है तो आने वाले दिन सचमुच ख़बर भरे दिन होंगे, चुनाव बहुत दूर नहीं। लेकिन असल मुद्दा फ़िर वही कि ख़बर का ट्रीटमेंट। ख़बर अगर नायिका है तो असली काम परदे के पीछे वाले का है कि वह उससे अभिनय करवाता है या अंग प्रदर्शन।

Thousand dollars for kiss, fifty cents for soul

Mallika………….Mallika……………………………..Mallika………………

…………………………………..Mallika………………………………Mallika…………………………………………………………………………………………Haay (Hindi wala) Mallika……………………Mallika…………………………….. Please let me chant Mallika, Mallika, Mallika, Mallika, Mallika, Mallika, Mallika, Mallika. Before police come and arrest me please let me chant Mallika, Mallika, Mallika, Mallika……………………………………… Before the act come into force and police arrest me for calling the name Mallika …let me chant please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let me chant Mallika……………..Mallika……………….Mallika………………Mallika……………………………………………….Mallika……………………………Mallika…………………………………Ma….ll……i……kaaaaaaaaaa………….. There are few days left, so please let me chant the sacred mantra Mallika……Mallika……Mallika.

Last week, I read in the newspapers that Mallika Sherawat is applying for a trademark for her name so that no one can use it for any “commercial” activity. If any one will do so, police will arrest him. Now I have to understand what this “commercial activity” is. Till now, for me, commercial activity is to purchase some atta, dal, chawal, on daily basis, some kapde latte on yearly basis and some furniture etc. for lifelong. Now I came to know that the name of an individual can also be used for commercial purpose. Earlier, with my very limited knowledge, I thought trade mark is for the products only.

Poor Mallika Pukhraj and poor Mallika begum, had they been in this age, they could earn more name and fame by trade marking their names other then their sweet melodies. Madhubala and Meena Kumari (the Mallikas of hearts not merely names) were also ruined their names and lives in show business by acting only.

A couple of years ago there was news that Rajnikant has obtain copyright for some of his famous stunts, like lighting of cigarette, wearing of goggles, etc. I do not know was it a rumour or true. But I feel no common man will ape him, not because of one can not do those silly things, but can not afford those actions. If a common man wear goggles in that style and goggles got damaged, he really will repent for his own act.

Once Marilyn Monroe said – “Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul”. I don’t know whether Mallika Sherawat is aware of this fact or not.

Anyways ………… I am here to do bakwaas!! Only bakwaas!!!!!! (as the title of the blog suggests) ………………….. Signing off for now with this little more bakwaas……….

I was brought up in a very little and sleepy town of cow belt. During my school days, on the way to school, I with my friends usually found oxes with engraved some numbers on their backsides. When I enquired about the numbers engraved on their backside I found it was a trademark given by municipality to monitor the oxes. When I grow up I came to know the trade mark number is also given to a horse that runs in the race course for someone else. The civilization is coming to the full circle.

BREAKING NEWS - From the horse's mouth, in this horse trading week, Rakhi Sawant is planning to follow suit.

CHEENEE KUM

The list is increasing, so are my hopes. The painter…………….the presidents………………….the writer……………………. and now……….. our very own respected Shri bikini killer ji. Cheenee is really getting kum….. very kum............ very very kum………..

After two decades, when I will be touching the magical age of sextea …oops sorry…. Sixty, by the time the level of sugar, I feel, will almost .0000000000159875 per cent in the cup. This percentage is giving me a hike…. and my hopes are rising to the tune of inflation. And the cup size may also be changed by that time, as I read in the history that it remain changing as per the norms of fashion and personal choices.

But the problem is that I am not a president, not a restaurant owner. Neither I am a writer or painter nor a bikini killer. Forget about the bikini killing, except in films or in newspapers I have never seen any bikini or bikini clad gentle lady, but now I am hopeful, after getting great inspiration from all these great icons of their respective respected fields.

Now, read my seegred (again spelling mistake – I am very bed in spellings) secret plan carefully (but don’t tell my wife or my current girl friend/s). First, I will be fida on someone or two or three. If someone say sarko jee this side, then I will put in some more efforts, whether the society give me the manyata or not. But I do not have complete bishwas that I will succeed in my nihita selfishness.

With my tiny mind I am always unable to understand why these girls attach themselves to those sixtys’ so called boys? May be I do not come from that highbrow culture, or I am unable to cope up with the pace of today. It may be a mid-life crisis of mine, because I do no have any right to business in theirs life’s business. But I still doubt is it really the chemical locha or attraction of power, position, paisa, profession and prisiddhi. Whatever it is, I believe it is not my business to peep into there business, I was just trying to entertain you with my bakwaas.

And now I am signing off for now, with this recently read bakwaas joke,
An old man had been dating to a young lady for months. At the urging of their friends and family, the two finally decide it was time to get married. But first, they agreed they should work out the details of how their marriage was going to be, as to avoid any let downs or misunderstandings. So the couple went out to a nice dinner and had a long conversation about how their marriage is going to work. They discussed living arrangements, finances and other important stuff. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to bring up the subject of their physical relationship. “How do you feel about sex,” he asked, rather trustingly yet intrigued. “Well”, she said trying to choose her words carefully, “I’d have to say…… I would like it infrequently.” The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, and then over his glasses, he looked her in the eye and cautiously asked…. “is that one word or two?”

Chill yaar, it was just a bakwaas……………… .

See ya soon for more bakwaas !

The boss and the owl

My birth (one can read berth) on the blog is neither accidental one nor a well-think plan. You can think, it is just like a fashion statement, but not for me. But don’t think I am any serious person; I am just a man as you are or you think. I have created this blog about two months back and posted two entries, but no response. It is because there are initial hiccups with me. The one is I can not think in English and the, another one is I can not type in Hindi. Further I do not have any pet named on star and I do not organize any award function in Singapore. Then? Why I needed a blog………….! Once upon a time I used to be writing for news papers/journals.; in long run they found that I am writing bakwaas and stop taking what I was writing. When I created this blog and find no takers because of my initial hiccups of languages and typing skills, I think again……… and ……. Tabhi mere dimaag mein ek idea ne hit kiya aur apne blog mein visual ko fit kiya. I got some responses and I got my morale boosted. So it is my story on appearing on the blogsphere.

Now the title : Veerubakwaas. Veeru as my name I think will do. But what about the bakwaas? In today’s times, I feel, everyone is doing bakwaas. So if I add some more bakwaas in the others’ life it doesn’t affect like inflation. But don’t bank on my words completely. There are still two species who never do bakwaas – the wife (including girl friend as per the norms of now) and the boss. I will reserve my comments on the first specie and picture this for the second one - the boss. One fine morning (morning is always fine for the bosses) boss called me and asked – What is this? ‘Sir it is a file’ - I answered looking downward to mother earth. ‘I know but is it noting? Even an owl can do better than you’. Boss enlightened me. ‘Have you ever seen an owl?’ boss asked. I kept quite and continue to look downward. “What are you seeing down there, look at me”! Boss said.

So friends enjoy the bakwaas, but keep in mind the meaningful thoughts of the wives and the bosses.

Red Carpet

If you think..........

Red Carpet is............

only for stars...............

see more and think again.......................

........and again.......

and decide............

who is fairest of them all.....?